My Apologies

My Apologies

Do you believe resentment, cultivating deeply rooted hurt, can subside when a sincere apology is provided?  If the different vessels, whom you believe poured an onslaught of callous intentions, upon your personal conceptions and idealisms of living a good life offered an apology, what would happen? 

I’m sorry…

You were dismissed.  My words tore you apart.  Communication stopped.   Your privacy was invaded.  I didn’t choose you.  I maliciously tarnished your reputation.  Your livelihood was jeopardized.  Your personal belongings were put in a trash bag.  I wasn’t who I said I was.  You made the wrong choice, out of the two I gave you.  You almost died.

***

Maybe it’s best if the apology, comes from the one who fights to swim under inevitable waves of repercussions into a life of meaningful substance.  

After all, unfavorable predicaments do not have to define us.  

With my apology, should a plan evolve?  Absolutely!  

I will practice each day, building positive designs to co-exist with my sorrow and my head will remain held high and my smile will show through any mist.

I’m not sorry…  

I learned to exist.  I pieced myself together.  I demand communication.  I learned to protect my own privacy.  You gave me a gift, when you did not choose me.  My character shines through, a tarnished reputation.  My livelihood will never be sacrificed again.  You cleared out, what you thought was trash.  I found out, who you really were.   Bad choices can help one evolve, into a better human being.  I survived to see the beauty of my life.

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About 1girl4adamwest

I enjoy reading.
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43 Responses to My Apologies

  1. poojycat says:

    I felt catharsis when reading this post – very emotional, positively 🙂 I don’t know why but with your words, a quote from Iyanla Vanzant came to my head: ““You can accept or reject the way you are treated by other people, but until you heal the wounds of your past, you will continue to bleed. You can bandage the bleeding with food, with alcohol, with drugs, with work, with cigarettes, with sex, but eventually, it will all ooze through and stain your life. You must find the strength to open the wounds, stick your hands inside, pull out the core of the pain that is holding you in your past, the memories, and make peace with them”. Much love to you dear friend!

    • My dear friend! Your words touch deeply and resonate profoundly with me. I have never heard this quote and it places in total perspective what I live with emotionally and goes on to explain what needs to be done. I shall google Iyanla Vanzant. Thank you for this beautiful comment and I am feeling the love (((hugs)))

    • Hi again, my friend! I wanted to direct you back to “My Apologies”. A really beautiful heart (Sandy) left a message about your words, you left me. Come back and read them, if you can. YOU touch so many hearts and I adore you so very very much!!! xoxo!!!

  2. Job well done beautiful you! Never ever forget that!

  3. Kozo says:

    This is so powerful, 1G4AW. I love how you show both sides. I see a lot of growth here. It reminds me of the Rumi quotation: “The wound is the place where the light enters you.” {{{Hugs]}} Kozo

    • Kozo! Thank you so much! I love that you got the mirror sides I was showing. What an enlightening quote from Rumi, “The wound is the place where the light enters you” I added this amazing quote to my positive journal. Thank you, my friend for your wisdom and awesome {{{Hugs}}}!!!!!!

  4. Lovely post, at once intense and thought provoking.

    What resonated with me are your closing lines.

    “Bad choices can help one evolve, into a better human being. I survived to see the beauty of my life.”

    Bad choices are great learning platforms as we learn to maneuver into something better. And life is all about learning…. till our last day here. As we learn and open the windows of our minds, we start seeing new possibilities which we had not been aware of. And as we go down these new pathways of possibilities, we realise the beauty that life is.

    Blessings

    Shakti

  5. A very interesting and wonderful heart felt piece, and I can relate to this a lot! It appears that the bad choices we make often turn out to be our biggest lessons, and leave us with priceless information that we didn’t have before. So I question now – if there ever is such thing as a bad choice? But maybe nothing in this life will unfold as we expect, and the knowledge we acquire along the way is what our spirit so desperately needed! And often it is a huge lesson for the one that the pain came from too, even though they may struggle a lifetime to acknowledge that.

    I’m so pleased you were not destroyed, and survived to move on and see so much more! 🙂

    • Ooooohhh you have an interesting concept here, what if there is not such a thing as a “bad choice” but, they were actually right choices all along, moving us to a better “now”. Indeed!!!! Thank you, my friend for relating and understanding. (((Big Smiles)))

  6. And you have such a beautiful soul Marie 🙂

  7. johncoyote says:

    Most of us must learn the hard way. Thank you for the excellent poetry.

  8. LAND OF FUN says:

    Touching , inspiring , appealing !

  9. diannegray says:

    I love the line “You gave me a gift, when you did not choose me” what a powerful piece of work this is. Well done my strong friend! 😀

  10. This is a well thought out thought. I’m sorry doesn’t stop the pain maybe in time but if that memory pops up the hurt will most definitely return. And really are you sorry? Well said Marie.

  11. utesmile says:

    This is great writing and the last line- I survived to see the beauty of my life.- is the best for me. A great ending, a happy and wonderful ending. Beautiful! Glad you ended like that! 🙂

  12. I am so moved by what you have written here. I too have survived ~ an abusive childhood, a double lung transplant and now fighting kidney disease ~ I have survived because a good man believed in me, because God lifted me up and gave me a second chance at life, because my grown children continue to show love and support, because 4 little grandchildren show their love in so many extraordinarhy ways!!! I have survived and so have you!!!

    I am also moved by the quote posted here in the comments by Poojycat: quote from Iyanla Vanzant came to my head: ““You can accept or reject the way you are treated by other people, but until you heal the wounds of your past, you will continue to bleed. You can bandage the bleeding with food, with alcohol, with drugs, with work, with cigarettes, with sex, but eventually, it will all ooze through and stain your life. You must find the strength to open the wounds, stick your hands inside, pull out the core of the pain that is holding you in your past, the memories, and make peace with them”.

    Thank you for sharing your feelings. . .you are a lovely soul.

    May you be blessed!
    SandyO

  13. You’ve provoked the mind with your soulful thoughts and words. Thank You, dear Mari. Your presence is meaningful. Stay the wonderful person that you are.
    Love.
    SF

  14. Wackadoodle! says:

    this, like every other post that you have created and will create in the future, is just simply amazing. And I’m soooo sorry that I have not been here (in your world) for such a long time. You are too damn awesome dude! 😀

    • Thank you, my sweet!!! I think you are pretty damn awesome too!!! and you totally keep me hip when I visit your blog…oh dear…is hip still a cool word??!! LOL I’m thinking NOT! LOL!!!

  15. Very touching post Marie. I am happy you are in a much ‘happier place’ now. Life lessons very often make us stronger in the end. Have a wonderful day. hugs, Renee 🙂

  16. Claudia says:

    “Co-exist with my sorrow”, I really like that phrase. I tend to want to escape from or deny my sorrow. I guess we need to continue learning to co-exist with every part of ourselves. 🙂

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