May 2, 2008
After a day of viscously cycling in a pattern of, figuratively speaking, standing tall on the job yet getting knocked down only to bounce back up, with an ever present and contagious smile, accompanied with my instilled determination to keep my cool. I calmly decided, within the confines of my cubical dwelling, I was done!
The weekend was moments away.
Once the clock hands struck my magic leaving time, I was out the door and literally running to my car!
Blasting the music inside my car and blocking the negative thoughts whirling within my mind, I started heading west on the interstate towards a place I could recharge my internal battery and refocus my mind.
My destination was not a bar, a club, a friends house nor a hotel…
I was heading to the house I grew up in, to my old bedroom still remaining as I left it, so many years ago. Home…where I knew my parents would greet me with great joy, love and no unwanted questions.
I was exhausted. Work wheeled the last blow and the pressure from expectations of keeping everyone within my inner circle happy, during the week, tested my resilience to a point of knowing, I needed to step back and regenerate my happy self.
As I pulled up to my parent’s house, I sat inside my car and thought…this is the one place, I do not find grief. I can be who I am with no restraints. I never hear complaints about my career path, weight or why I do not have a baby yet. My parents “get” me. After years of watching over me, teaching me and letting me go…they finally understand me.
I enter the house and all my worries melt away instantly, with the hugs that welcome me. My folks are ecstatic to have me home and spending a spontaneous weekend with them.
I can only hope if, I am ever blessed with a child, the adult my child will grow into will one day, seek to find comfort and support wherever I am. When life gets a tad hectic, I would want him or her to know instinctively they can always come home.
As I type these words, I feel my peace. I am good. I am better than good…I am home.